Little Girl

I remember sitting on the ground, just outside my grandparents barn, drawing pictures in the earths surface.  I would lay on my back and look up at the clouds, life was easy and peaceful.  When I turned 5 my grandpa bought me a white Shetland pony.  We had big Christmas gatherings, the whole family, presents and food.  I would imagine that this was how life would always be.   More than 3 decades later and after the death of my Grandfather, leaving an incredibly abusive relationship with three young boys and my mother being diagnosed with cancer, I wondered why no one ever told me that this isn’t what life is really like.  Why didn’t they say “you will experience loss, you will get hurt, you will struggle, and cry and have failed relationships, loose those you love, be torn down by those you love, you will hurt those you love”.

….I miss those days.

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