I feel as though I am still being abused. My ex has flat out admitted several times, through email directly to me and to family members in person, that his main goal is to destroy me financially. He has not paid child support since b4 xmas. He told a family member that I should be prepared for what is to come and that he is going to make me pay for what I have done. I try not to let this bother me, but since leaving him, over 4 years ago I am feeling like maybe this is just my life. I will never be financially stable because of him and my children and I will continue to live below the poverty line. I feel that I deserve to live a life free of this constant torture, I just don’t understand how someone can get away with this. it’s so unfair and my children and I don’t deserve this. I wish there was something that could be done.
I deserve to succeed in life, in school, as a mother, daughter, friend and spouse. I deserve a life free of his constant control and threats. My children deserve a life free of emotional trauma. My family deserves to live free of his threats, free of fear of what he may do. We are tired of looking over our shoulders. Our children could have a full education fund by now with the money that has been spent on lawyers.
I can’t help but wonder what I have done to deserve this life. I know that I left him, I know that I did take the children away from his home, but I did so for reasons. Reasons that I refused to accept as my life and the children’s lives. I am trying to get an education so that I may provide for my family to the best of my abilities, but there are days when I am scared this constant battle may be all for nothing. I wonder if he will succeed, if he will accomplish what his goals are. Could I actually end up in the streets with nothing, and sure thing I’ll end up loosing my children if I can’t take care of them. I feel like every day I am falling deeper and deeper into financial despair. The lawyer bill is growing, the cost of trying to get an education, the past cost of a failed attempt of getting an education (because he destroyed that attempt), him withholding support to try to affect my ability to cover the cost of living. He makes well over 100k a year and his children and I suffer for choosing to live an abuse free life. Something is very seriously wrong.
Why is this not illegal, what he is doing? I just can’t wrap my head around it! Especially because he flat out admits what he is doing!!